Wednesday, February 19, 2014

After I realized you didn't want anything to do with me. I slept with someone who trusted and would make me feel something. In the few weeks you were gone all I could think about was you coming home. Coming home to a girl who has been trying to fight for your attention. A girl who smiled whenever she talked about you, a girl who wanted to be yours. The sex was fun and it felt good.
I've been hanging out with other people but you, trying to move on from you. But all I want to do is invite you out with me. But I couldn't because I knew you would say no. I knew I wasn't enough to make you say yes. I don't want to get Danielle in the middle of this. I like hanging out with her but she's your friend and when she talks about you, I feel hurt, hurt I didn't know the story that she was telling me about you. Hurt that I couldn't be part of the story.
The movie tomorrow is probably the last time I will invite you anywhere. I'm hurt that you would rather clean than hang out with me and your best friend. I couldn't even bring myself to walk into your place and say hi. I just wanted to go home and move on. But what did i do? I saw you talking about a show on Netflix and instead I watched it by myself. Trying to figure out more about you. Always trying to learn more about you as a person. To figure out why I can't move on from you.
Why as soon as my date was over I thought about you. Why all I want to do is have your right here next to me.

Sad pathetic repetitive post of the week; done.

Goal: make progress

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